I'm really getting on board with my health and diet. I realize it is maybe the only thing I am in control of currently. I made a batch of glowing green smoothies and I'm back to 90% vegan, 10% vegetarian. I feel wayyy healthier with increased energy. No alcohol either. Not that I drank a lot but I realize once and a while a glass of wine is okay but I would rather drink water. Maybe have the option to turn water into wine? Hmmmm.
So yes, a few things to be grateful for. The rest I'm working on and coming up with plans of action. (debt, family crisis etc) I'm finally at the point of acknowledging I'm only in control of my own life and actions.
Ive made some changes to my work situation and I'm going to be going back to school to get some more courses. I'll still stay in the health care field but a different venue. I'm just going to try something new and see how it feels. I'm burning out from my current job a bit. I also haven't had a vacation since before my Mom passed away. It's been 2+ years. So I'm going to take some time off at the end up sept. I want to go camping for a week and also take that course and lounge around a bit.
Early day tomorrow/today. Off to sleeeeep.
I went over on my calories last night. Not too happy with that. I logged all my food honestly on fitness pal tho. I went for a walk in the late evening with the bf. It didn't burn off all the extra calories I ate but it helped a bit. I was doing good all day. Then I wanted a bit more pasta for dinner. I rarely eat it but felt deprived. 250 extra calories later. I know it doesn't sound like much but it all adds up. My Friday weigh in means a lot to me and I'm trying to stay on track with losing two pounds a week. Today I'll drink tons of water and go on a walk for my two hour break.
I'm having trouble finding Roma tomato plants. Maybe they are popular? Or maybe they aren't popular? They are my fav for salads and bruschetta. I hate buying produce from Mexico or USA. Usually pulpy with no flavour. I try to keep that 100 km rule in tact for fruits and veggies. Well, as best I can without getting scurvy in the winter. Too much winter here.
The bf wants to take me to Cuba in the fall/winter. I've wanted to go for a long time. All my friends and family have been 2.4 million times and still going. Not sure why I put it off. It's a dirt cheap trip and they quite like Canadians. My ex fiancé was very against the Castro regime and won't go to any communist country. So maybe that was why I didn't go for the 7 years I was with him. I guess well see how the finances are and go from there. I'm in desperate need for a vacation. It's been 3 years since I have gone anywhere on a plane. And it will be interesting to see how the bf travels. He hasn't been anywhere. It's the make or break of any relationship for me. Because I plan to continue traveling my ass off until I die. It's what I live for. :)
Well back to work. I have to medicate a cat.
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My Mother is in the Hospice now. Getting fantastic care and I'm able to visit her a lot and stay overnight too. It's a beautiful new facility and I feel such a sense of calm when I go there considering people are dying every other day in it. My Mom is on morphine finally and it seems to help with the severe pain she's in. It's so hard to watch her in pain and drugs aren't even touching it usually. I want her to pass away and be free of this. I know she is ready she just has to pick a time. Only change addresses as my Buddhist friend says.
Ive had to tell a few more friends about my Mother and what I'm going through. It's a challenging process. Most people I come across have very little experience with a close loved one dying. They don't know what to say or do. I don't like to say, imagine your Mother dying in front of you for the last 3 years bit by bit. But a few times I have said that and then friends just say its unimaginable or something they couldn't fathom. There's a few things I fear in life, that would be my ultimate nightmare. Number one is to lose my Mother, my best friend. I don't know how I cope and keep my shite together. Some days are better than others. Most days are fragile but stable for me.
Now that Nicholas has tried to spoon me and wrapped his arms around the laptop I should sign off. Such a sweet beautiful scamp he is when he sleeps.